Broken Trust
by CHAILYN
Summary: Do you know what its like to lose the only person you have left?  Dean shares a secret and Sam gets hurt.  Dean angst.  No season 3 spoilers though anything up to AHBL part 2 is fair game.
1. Chapter 1

**Broken Trust**

By: Chailyn

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"Ruby! Stop, drop the gun!" Jo yelled cocking her gun in the other female hunter's direction.

"Uh uh, I'm sorry Jo, I know he's your friend but he's evil and I have to stop him before he kills again." Ruby trained her gun on Sam, who was tied up and barely conscious after she'd knocked him out with the butt of her rifle.

"You even try and you'll be dead." Dean warned, "You touch my brother and I'll waste you like the things you hunt."

"Dean, I like you I do. You're a good hunter but your brother, he isn't your brother--thanks to Jo, I know that now. He's a murderer and if someone doesn't stop him he'll keep killing."

"That wasn't Sam. He was possessed." Dean said, "You can't blame him for that. What your trying to do, its murder, you're killing an innocent person."

"He killed a hunter--my dad, he killed him. Hunters don't kill hunters." Ruby looked at him with hate in her eyes. "Even if he's innocent now he might not stay that way forever, for the sake of everyone else, he's got to go."

"He's innocent." Jo pleaded with her, she had to put this right this was all her fault. She had thought she could trust Ruby, that she was like her--she hadn't meant to tell her about what had happened when Sam was possessed but it had just slipped out. "If you kill him you are no better than a demon."

"God! Jo! I thought you'd understand. You said you were a hunter, that you were out their to kill evil--he's evil Jo!"

"My brother is not evil." Dean was friggin sick of the monologue he just wanted to get Sammy back. "Drop the gun and I swear I won't hurt you, we'll just let you go your way."

"Dean your brother is well…demonic, dammit! He even has demon blood in him."

Dean was furious with Jo, he told her that she couldn't talk about that stuff about Sam, he'd told her not to tell a soul. He had told her she couldn't trust Ruby, that hunting with Ruby would get her killed and he had trusted her, he had trusted her with his brother's life and now Sammy could die because of her. And it would be his fault; all his life he'd been smart, he'd kept it all in but he screwed up this time trusting her…his brother might de because of him and if that happened he would never never forgive her, or himself for that matter.

"Leave him alone!" Dean screamed at her, "I'll kill you Ruby, I will. I don't give a damn who you are or aren't I will shoot you dead; human or not."

"Dean, I don't want to kill you but if you stop me," Ruby started, cocking her gun in the elder Winchester's direction, "I will."

"Hey Ruby," Jo waited until she had Ruby's full attention and that her gun was away from Sam.

"I have to do it Jo, you know, you should understand--their father killed your dad, don't you think he deserves it?"

The shot went off before Dean even realized what was happening. Jo hit her dead on, wasting her with a headshot.

Dean ran over to Sam to untie him, glancing over at Jo with a look of…fear? Surprise? He wasn't sure what, just that he wanted to get to Sam.

"Sam, Sammy?" Dean untied him trying to get him to regain consciousness. "C'mon Sammy!"

"Where is she?" Sam mumbled groggily his head throbbing like it had been bashed in with a cinder block.

"She-don't worry about her Sammy." Dean said trying to block his view of her. "Can you walk?"

"Uh…Dean, I don't know." Sam's voice was gravelly and he spit out a gob of blood. Sam groaned in pain as he tried to get up.

"Okay okay," Dean pushed him back down to the ground, "Don't move."

"Jo," Dean called her over trying to ignore the fact that she just murdered someone and trying to remind himself that it wasn't like the girl had been innocent she was trying to kill his brother. But she never would have known about Sammy if Jo hadn't let it slip to her, the little voice in the back of his said. "Jo! C'mon I need you to help me get Sammy out of here."

Jo nodded her head and walked over avoiding Dean's eye line completely. She knew what she just did and though she could justify it, she killed a human being. The two of them supported Sam, carrying him out, both ignoring each other's glance.

* * *

When the doctors took Sam into surgery, Dean was terrified. Until they got Sam inot the Car Dean hadn't realized that not only did she knock his brother out, she had stabbed him in the stomach and while they had been trying to get her to not shoot him, Sam was lying their slowly bleeding to death. Dean tried to forget it, but every time he thought back to that warehouse and his desperate and frantic search to save Sam, he kept coming back to Jo. None of this would ever have happened if it hadn't been for her. Ellen was on her way to the hospital after Jo called her, and Bobby was hopping on the next plain to Missouri as soon as he took care of the demon he was hunting. Dean was alone with Jo, waiting, and he wasn't sure if he could take it.

"Dean?" Jo talked to him for the first time since they left the warehouse. "Dean I--please I never met for any of this to happen. It was an accident."

"An accident?" Dean was incredulous and felt his resolve to keep his temper in check dissolving before his eyes. "My brother might die because of you, do you not get that? And you're sorry! I trusted you Jo, I trusted you and you swore you would never tell anyone, and now a girl is dead and Sammy--now I might lose Sammy too."

"Dean…"

"No! I trusted you with something I've never trusted anyone with, anyone. How many other hunters did you tell Sam's secret to? A dozen? Two dozen? Were you the one who told Gordon?"

"Dean, god, no!" Jo didn't know how to make this right, and she didn't know if Dean would ever forgive her. "I would never do that!"

"You told Ruby."

"I thought I could trust her. She was just, I never knew she'd do something like that. I thought she was like us Dean, I would never do that. Why would I want someone to kill Sam?"

"I don't know. Payback for what happened to your dad? I. Don't. Know. Okay? And really, I don't know if I want to know. All I want is for my brother to be okay, and then we're gonna be gone, and we're gonna stay gone."

"Dean." Jo was practically begging him, it was a mistake all a mistake and she didn't want to lose him, she was almost certain that she loved him.

"You almost got my brother killed!" He screamed, his resolve finally crumbled just in time for Ellen to see.

"Hey, hey, what the hell is going on? Dean, what…where's Sam? Is he okay?"

"No he's not okay--your daughter almost got him killed. He's in surgery right now." Dean could barely look in Jo's direction with the anger that kept building up.

"What-what are you talking about? Ellen asked completely shocked at Dean's accusation.

"Jo." Dean jabbed his finger in her direction, "It's her fault that Sammy's in there. If it wasn't for her Sammy would be…" Dean's voice trailed off as he saw one of the doctors who had taken Sammy through those double doors come back through them.

"Mr. Winchester?"

"Yeah," Dean spoke eagerly, "My brother, Sammy is he okay?"

"Your brother has sustained severe internal bleeding. His left lung was punctured by a broken rib…Mr. Winchester we're doing our best but you need to understand your brother had suffered extremely serious injuries."

"I know," Dean felt like he was drowning as the doctor spoke, "Please, I'm begging you don't let my brother die."

"We'll do our best." The doctor walked away and Dean collapsed in the chair, resting his head in his hands and just wishing he could rewind his day and get a fresh start.

"Dean, Sam's going to be okay." Ellen reassured him looking a bit pale herself after hearing the doctors words. "Now, will one of you please explain to me what happened and why you were screaming that Jo almost killed Sam so loud I could hear it in the elevator?"

"Why don't you ask her?" Dean shot back bitterly.

"It was an accident." Jo was practically in tears.

Ellen nearly had a heart attack. Were they for real, did her daughter really have something to do with Sam Winchester being in the hospital.

"Jo, what happened?" Ellen's tone was sharp.

"Mom, it was a mistake and a-a giant accident. Ruby, I thought I could trust her and I was angry with Dean and it all slipped out. I really thought I could trust her, that she was like us."

Ellen didn't know what to think, she was still horribly confused. What could her daughter have told that other girl to make Dean blame Jo for what happened to Sam.

"I told you that you couldn't trust her." Dean shot back, "Sam told you, he showed you the things she was capable of--how she would kill innocent people just to get to her mark."

"Jo, what did you tell that girl?"

"I-mom I didn't mean for this to happen, I never thought…I told her about Sam." Jo said, "I thought she'd understand that she could--I don't know."

"What did you tell her?"

"That he had visions, that he was one of the demon's chosen," Jo started practically whispering the last part, "I told her about how Sam killed that hunter and how he went after me when he was possessed."

Ellen didn't know what to say. She had told Dean, promised him, that Sam's secret would be safe with them, that they were loyal to their friends--why would Jo do something like that?

"And then what happened?"

"She grabbed him, and knocked him out. Stabbed him and almost killed him--still might have." Dean said. "She wouldn't listen to reason…"

"Jo why would you tell some one that? Even another hunter, you know they can't be trusted--especially with something like that they don't all understand…where is she now?"

"Dead." Dean said flatly.

"Dean, you shot her? That's--Dean she's still a human--"

"Maybe you should lecture your daughter." He said, "She's the one who wasted her with a headshot."

Ellen was speechless and Dean was exhausted.

"I'm getting coffee." His tone was sharp and curt and he sounded beaten down, not unlike his father.

Ellen waited until he was gone to turn to her daughter.

"Why would you tell anyone all of that Jo?"

"Mom, it--this sounds so horrible but it just slipped out. I was so angry with Dean, that he wouldn't let me go on that hunt with them…Ruby understood and she had been such a good friend…better than Dean at least and mom please, I didn't mean for Sam to get hurt like this, I never thought she'd go after him."

"That's right Jo, you didn't think. We promised Dean and Sam that we wouldn't tell anyone about his secret--you know how hunters are, they kill anything if they feel like it--especially that girl, Ruby, I told you she was trouble Jo--Damn it! Dean even told you she was trouble, she almost killed a kid trying to get a demon!"

"You know, we haven't always been able to trust them--you even said that yourself--last year, remember!"

"For gods sake Jo! I was scared and I was upset, you had been used as bait, I thought you were going to end up like your father--I thought Dean was like his father. I made a mistake, but I never would have gone as far as you did, and if your father knew about this, he'd have a stroke. I-"

Ellen cut off as she saw a doctor walking towards them again.

"Go, run and get Dean." She told her daughter as the doctor stopped in front of him.

"Winchester family?"

"Family friends, my daughter went to go and grab his brother."

"Has his brother phoned their parents?"

Oh, lord, Ellen thought, that doesn't sound good. "Their parents are deceased, its just the boys but they're like family--please, is Sam going to be okay?"

"He's out of surgery and--

The doctor was cut off as Dean came running into the waiting room, Jo trailing behind him, slightly slower.

"What's going on?" He demanded, "Is Sammy okay?"

"We won't totally know until he wakes up, but he's out of surgery."

"Wait-wait. What do you mean, wake up?"

"Your brother's injuries were severe and he is in a comatose state."

"No." Dean said looking from him to Ellen. "No."

"I'm sorry." The doctor said walking away.

"Oh god, Sammy," Dean had slumped down against the wall, his head in his hands, everything from the last couple of days coupled with this causing him to crack under his usually tough exterior.

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_So...what did you think? Great, sucked, whatever...c'mon toss me a bone and review will you, pretty please? I know I kinda left you hanging there but I think I've got something good in the works for chapter two, which I hope to post within the week, next friday at the latest. But if you review maybe I could be persuaded to do it sooner._


	2. Chapter 2

_**Broken Trust**_

**_chapter 2_**

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_**Authors note**: I wasn't going to continue this since I only received one review (thank you **girl who loves Jensen**) but I decided what the hell, I kind of enjoying writing it and I haven't had anyone tell me that it sucks aside from **dramaqueen07 **(thank you so much dear, but I don't care much)--so…here's chapter 2 which I had so much trouble writing until I finally figured out where it was that I was going with this; I hope you like reading it as much as I liked writing it._

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"_Your brother's injuries were severe and he is in a comatose state."_

"_No." Dean said looking from him to Ellen. "No."_

"_I'm sorry." The doctor said walking away._

"_Oh god, Sammy," Dean had slumped down against the wall, his head in his hands, everything from the last couple of days coupled with this causing him to crack under his usually tough exterior._

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Ellen didn't know what to do, or say. She'd never seen Dean like this, ever, and she didn't have an answer for him, he almost--still might--lose the only family he had left in the world, and for all greater purposes, it was her daughter's fault. After all she had told him, after all she had promised him. That they were reliable, that they weren't like so many of the other hunters out there, that they were like family….Jo pulls something like this. She didn't understand it, and she knew sure as hell that her Bill _**never**_would have condoned that. Even John, who cut a lot of corners, played dangerously, he had never gone this far. She just hoped to god that for all of their sakes that Sam would come out of this okay, because if he didn't, she wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to look at her daughter the same way again; and she didn't know if it was possible for Dean to lose his brother again and survive it.

"Dean." Ellen rested a hand on the young man's shoulder, struck once again as she looked in his eyes how young he really was. "Are you okay?"

Dean nearly laughed at the irony in her question. Was he okay? His brother might die. The brother who he had fought so hard to protect, all these years, all because Jo had shot her mouth off to a hunter...how could he possibly be okay? Sammy was fighting for his life--not in any way could that ever be defined as okay.

"Dean..." Jo said, standing next to her mother as she took in Dean's broken down, beaten appearance. "Sam's going to be fine; everything will be okay. You just have to keep it together."

If Jo hadn't been a girl, Dean was pretty sure that he would have taken a swing at her, at that precise moment in time; as it was, it was difficult to control his anger when he looked at her and was reminded of whose fault this was. But **that **was too much. She had no right to tell him what he should be doing right now. No right at all. What the hell did she know about the kind of pain he was going through?

"Keep it together?" Dean repeated his voice dangerously low, as he stood up to look her in the eye, the glint of anger obvious. "You--you have no business telling me what I should do. It's because of **you **that my brother is fighting for his life; because of you I might lose him. Do you know what that's like? Do you know what its like to lose the only person you have left?"

"Yeah, I do." Jo shot back, finally pushed to her limit. She was unbelievably sorry for what had happened to Sam but she had never meant for it to happen, but Dean was treating her as if she, not Ruby, had done this to Sam. "You're not the only one who's lost someone," Jo started, before finishing, "If it wasn't for your father, I'd still have my dad."

Ellen couldn't help but to just stand, there, frozen in shock as she heard the words leave Jo's mouth.

"You know what? You've held that over my head ever since your mom told you, and I've had it. I don't know what happened out there between my dad and yours and whatever happened, I'm sorry about it, I am; but it's not my fault, and it sure as hell isn't Sam's. And if this is about that..."

"What? It. Was. An. Accident--kind of like what happened to my dad. My dad _died, _Dean, and he's never coming back. I understand it real good."

"You still have your mom." Dean told her, "Do you understand how lucky you are to have her? You've sat here over the past year and did everything in your power to push her away and I've never understood it--I would do _anything _to get my mom back. Do you understand what its like to not have parents anymore? Sam and I, we've lost everyone that we've _ever _cared about; our mom, our dad, Sam lost his _girlfriend_...Do you know how it feels to know that you are totally, completely alone. You don't, do you? Jo, if Sam dies I won't have anyone, and even if he doesn't, I only have a few months left and he's going to be alone. I thought I could trust you to be there for him, to let him know he's not alone. Knowing you're alone...its the scariest feeling in the world."

Dean walked away without another word, not caring about whatever excuse it was that Jo had for him this time; and feeling like he was going to collapse from emotional and physical exhaustion by the time he made it to Sam's room. When he got there he collapsed into the chair and didn't even bother to control the tears as he took it all in. Sam was hooked up to what looked like, it looked like he had to be hooked up to a dozen machines with all the wires and tubes running from him, though in reality Dean knew it was only a machine or two, and his every thought was punctuated with the beeping sound that came from the nearby monitor.

Beep

"Sammy, you got to wake up." Dean begged, the tears rolling down his face as he looked at his brother, his baby brother, that he'd sworn to protect, his brother that he had failed to protect again. "I lost you once I can't lose you again. Sammy, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry; I never should have told her, I never should have trusted her…trusted anyone--I'm the older one, I'm supposed to know better. I screwed up Sammy, I'm sorry…"

Beep

"I should have gone with my instincts. You shouldn't have to pay for it Sammy. Please, don't leave me alone."

Beep

"I'm sorry." Dean cried as he looked again at his brothers pale, bruised face again. "I'm so sorry Sammy."

Beep

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_please review...this was a bit of exposition and setting things up but there's going to be a really big twist coming up in the next few chapters and the return of some certian characters._

_Chailyn_


	3. Chapter 3

**Broken Trust**

**Chapter 3**

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_**Disclaimer: I realized I've somehow forgotten to do this but...I don't own anything...I just like to borrow them to play with...once i tried to keep them but kripke took them away...:crying in the corner:**_

_**Authors Note**: Sorry I took so long to update but I think you're really going to like it. I want to thank all you awesome people who reviewed and also, thanks as always to **girlwholovesjensen** for beta-ing. I had intended to post this on thursday but my school schedule has gone all weird with my job at the newspaper and now I'm going to have to like fly to get from school to home on thursday because my editior hates me and purposely scheduled the weekly meeting for the paper at SEVEN and it lasts for like an hour and a half and it takes me like half an hour to get home...seriously should i once miss the beginning of an episode I'm going to pull a yellow eyes and burn her on the ceiling whie roasting marshmallows and watching supernatural! anyhow...enjoy the chapter!_

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"Sammy...I've fought so long and so hard to protect you." Dean said his voice barely above a whisper, and scratchy from days of crying for his brother. "I've fought so hard. This can't be it. Sammy, I can't lose you, I need you. You got to fight this and you have to come back. Please Sammy; don't let this be it..." 

"It isn't." A vaguely familiar female voice said from the doorway, just out of his direct view.

Dean had thought it was Jo, back to try and apologize again, but what he actually saw nearly knocked him out of his chair.

"Jess?" Dean's voice was shaky and he hoped to god he was asleep, because how would he ever explain that he was seeing his brother's dead girlfriend?

"You remember." Jess' voice was soft and had a calming effect on Dean's fear and for a moment he was reminded of his mother. Good."

"What are you doing here? You're not here to take Sammy are you? Better yet, please just tell me I'm dreaming."

"I'm not, and you're not." Jess told him. "I'm here to help you…on the behalf of your dad and your mom."

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Just stop there. Please, what the hell is going on? If you want to help me, find a way to bring Sammy back, that's all I want."

"We can't. Not yet." Jess said softly, trailing her hand down Sam's cheekbone, and looking down at him with such a look of love that Dean was slightly thrown back. "He's been heartbroken and miserable; I know all about it, in his dreams we talk and he tells me...it's killing him you know?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You. Trading your soul for him." Jess said, turning away from him, to Dean. "I'm not saying I don't understand why you did it, I do. In his own way Sam understands too. Sam always told me what a great brother you were; how you were always looking after him...he wasn't exaggerating."

"Why are you here?" Dean knew that people just didn't come back from the dead at the drop of the hat. If she was here, she was back to do whatever...it had to be big.

"To save you, Dean." Jess said, as if she'd expected him to know, and to object. "We all need saving sometimes."

"You can't. No one can. I welch out of the deal, and Sam, he-he doesn't come back."

"I know how the deal works Dean, that's why all of this is necessary."

"You planned this?" Dean was furious. If this was all part of the master plan break his pact he didn't want any part of it. He refused to trade Sam for himself, to squeeze out a few more miserable, lonely, years. He wouldn't do it and he'd kill anyone who tried to make him do it.

"Sam getting hurt like this?" Jess shook her head regretfully, "No. But it made for a great opportunity to fix..." Jess' voice trailed off as she heard approaching footsteps. "Dean. You're not the only one who can see me," She warned, "I'm corporeal until we get this sorted out so..."

At that moment, Jo walked in carrying a cup of coffee in the hope that maybe Dean would listen to what she had to say.

"Dean, I...Who are you?"

"Jo, that's not really any of your business." Jess said standing with her arms crossed, eyes filled with anger. She may have been dead, but that didn't mean that it didn't totally piss her off that someone had set her boyfriend up to be brutally attacked like that. Jess strode in her direction, unfazed by the female hunter.

"What--Dean what's going on?" Jo was a bit freaked out. She had no idea who this girl was, and more importantly, how this girl knew who she was. She looked vaguely familiar somehow and Jo wished she could figure out why.

"I told you to leave me alone." Dean said, standing up and trying to block her view of Jess because the last thing they needed was for everyone to know that Sam's girlfriend was back from the dead to do…well, he still didn't know what the plan was but he sure as hell had no intentions of sharing it with Jo, especially if this plan was going to be able to bring Sam back.

"You shouldn't be alone." Jo told him her tone carrying a certain edge of uncertainty now as she tried to put a name to the face in front of her. She had seen his woman somewhere, she just couldn't remember…

"Well, he sure doesn't need you." Jess shot back, her anger getting the better of her as she came to the realization of what this girl had done to her Sam.

Dean just watched the exchange wordlessly, oddly struck by the look in Jessica's eyes as she looked at Sam. She may have been dead, and trying to hide it, but she still loved him.

Suddenly, Jo realized who she was; the green eyes, the long wavy blonde hair, the freckles--she had seen that picture in Sam's wallet, as he was flipping through it to dig out one of his fake ids…She had mentioned it to him and he had told her, it was Jessica, his girlfriend from Stanford…the one who was _dead_? Jo was confused and she didn't see how any of this was possible

Dean saw the look on Jo's face and he realized she knew who Jessica was. Damn it, he thought, not seeing a easy way out of this.

"Get out." Dean told Jo. "You've screwed things up enough. We don't need you to mess this up too."

"Really?" Jo said coolly ready to throw it right back at him, if he was going to treat her like she was the reason Sam was in a coma. "Because you're the one with a fetish for bringing back people from the dead."

Dean took a step toward Jo, and Jess stepped in front of him, separating them. They had a time frame and she didn't need this girl who had a crush on Dean screwing up this plan that had been nearly a year in the making. She wouldn't let it happen; Dean's life depended on it, Sam's life depended on it, and the lives of all the people they are meant to save depended on it.

"Listen." Jessica told her, glancing back at Dean to let him know she had this covered. "It wasn't an accident. You made a choice, and nearly got Sam killed. You try anything like this ever again, or put Sam or his brother in danger again, or you screw with what I'm trying to do…I will haunt you. I will follow you for the rest of your natural life and you will not be able to get rid of me. Understood?"

"I didn't..." Jo's voice trailed off as she looked up at Jess who looked at her in a way that frightened her. It was like she was looking right through her and could see her every repressed thought of guilt, and anger, and fear.

"None of this was ever supposed to happen." Jess said glancing back at Dean quickly; to make sure he was listening as she spoke. "You." Jess pointed at Jo, "You screwed with a lot of things and Dean and I have a small window of opportunity to fix things and then, people are going to start dying. Innocent people and all of their deaths will be on you."

She turned back to look at Dean, done with Jo. "And don't bother to deny it." She said. "Dean, you need to come with me."

"I can't leave Sam alone."

"I can stay with him." Jo offered.

Jess ignored her. "Your dad told me that you'd feel that way. He told me to tell you to have Bobby stay with him, that Sam would be fine."

"I..." Dean still didn't want to leave Sam alone, even with Bobby, even if his dad had said so. It didn't feel right to leave his brother.

"I can't do this without you, Dean." Jess told him, "I can't. Saving Sam, and saving you, it's possible just...not alone. I'm just a ghost, an essence of the person I was. I can't stop this without you."

Dean was silent. He didn't know what to say. The thought of leaving Sam alone after all that had happened, it terrified him.

"Dean, you're dad told me to tell you if you refused that it's a direct order. He says you'll know what that means."

Dean sighed, even from beyond the dead, his dad had found a way to make his son's follow orders; it was something only John Winchester could have managed.

"What do we do?" Dean asked her.

"You." Jess turned to Jo. "You need to leave. I don't want you any where near Sam to screw this up, you know too much as is. John would be furious to know you were here."

"Fine." Jo said walking away without a glance back. She didn't totally know what was up but...she gave up. If Dean wanted to keep blaming her for all of this...it wasn't her fault.

"Now what?" Dean asked her waiting until Jo was definitely out of earshot.

"You get Bobby here and then we leave."

Dean picked up his phone and dialed the older hunter's number hoping that Bobby would forgive his attitude from this morning when he had sent both him and Ellen away.

* * *

Sam knew that this was not good.

"Dad?" Sam questioned, as he saw John Winchester looking back at him. "Mom?" She looked an awful lot like the woman in the pictures, and the woman that had saved him when he and Dean went back to Lawrence...but how could this be possible?

Unless...he was dead. But he couldn't be dead. No, he couldn't be dead.

"Sam."

Sam felt himself be swept into a hug by the mother he loved and never got to know as his father looked on with a genuine smile, the kind of smile that rarely had crossed John Winchester's face in life.

"Mary." John rested a hand on his wife's shoulder. "We're not being fair to Sam. He deserves an explanation."

Mary let her son go with a kiss to the cheek that reminded Sam of pure happiness, the kind of unconditional love that he and Dean had missed out on to a certain degree for most of Dean's childhood and all of Sam's.

"I'm not dead. Dad, please tell me this is all just some really vivid dream or—or a vision, anything."

"Sam. Relax. You're not dead. You're...in between but it's being taken care of."

"What are you talking about? What's going on? Is Dean okay?"

Mary smiled as she listened to him. It was so nice to be this close to her baby again, to be able to talk to him, to touch him.

"Oh, Sam...try not to worry okay? Dean is fine. Jessica is looking after him, soon I'm sure they will have things back right."

"Jessica?" Sam echoed. "My girlfriend Jessica?"

"Yes. She's a lovely girl Sam, and she was very agreeable about doing this."

"Doing what?"

"You boys have gotten yourself into quite a mess." John told him, his voice taking on a certian admonishing quality that reminded him of his father in life. "If it wasn't for her I don't think we would have been able to help you boys fix it..."

"So...this was all planned?"

"No." John told his son. "This, here, it was never meant to happen. What Jo did, and Ruby did, it's screwed with the world's design but it's given us a unique opportunity."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's our chance to break the pact Dean made with the crossroads demon. With you hovering between life and death...the cards just need to be played right, and Dean needed someone to help him play the cards."

"Why Jess?" Sam asked, it was a question that had been bothering him since they told him where she was—and even that they knew her.

"Because her soul is pure. Untarnished." John explained. "My soul...is...well there isn't quite words for it."

"And mine disappeared with the demon." Mary told him.

"And Jessica?"

"She died a violent death, but she made no deals, she made no trades, she was simply an innocent girl." John said, "More importantly, she wants to save you and to save Dean and that makes her soul strong; and Dean's going to need that to break his pact."

"What she's doing? It won't hurt her, right?"

"We're dead, Sam." Mary told her son. "Nothing hurts us, we just exist, watching over our loved ones and intervening when we can."

"Will I see her?" Sam wasn't sure if the thought of seeing Jess again, outside of his dreams and fantasies was a comforting, or a terrifying thought. What would he tell her? I'm sorry our entire relationship was a lie, the reason you died is because I have an evil destiny and a demon decided that you were in the way? I'm sorry?

"You see her often Sam." Mary told him. "Its not just dreams or even visions. Its...I suppose you could call it a psychic connection of sorts. When you talk to her, you're talking to her spirit."

"Like what we're doing right now?"

"Somewhat." Mary replied.

Their answers seemed vague to Sam, like their was something hidden behind every reply. He didn't push though. Their would be plenty of time for answers, that was becoming readily apparent.

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_so...you know the routine, right? I'm not gonna nag cos then I'd be my mother...but just asa healthy reminder: please review!_

_Chailyn_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Broken Trust**_

_**Chapter 4

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_Author's Note: Chapter four...i just HAD to post something after that totally kick ass episode of supernatural...but i won't say no more cos i know that theirs some of you out there who haven't gotten to see it yet. hope you like and pretty plese remember to review! oh and thnks to **girlwholovesjensen** for betaing for me! Thnks hun!__

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"Where are we?" Dean asked thrown somewhat off-kilter by being the passenger in his own car.

Jessica had asked him for the keys to his car, and Dean had handed them over, eager to put this plan that his parents and, she, apparently had made. Dean still wasn't so sure about this whole breaking his deal with the crossroads demon thing, but if she knew something to bring Sammy back—he was all for it. Fifteen hours later they were...well, Dean didn't exactly know where they were and Jessica hadn't exactly been forthcoming with information about this great master plan.

"You don't recognize it?" Jess said, as she pulled in front of a small building. "We're in Lawrence."

Dean felt his heart skip a beat as he looked around and realized that she was right. They were in Lawrence. He couldn't help but to feel a bit uncomfortable, no matter how many years might pass this would always be the place that had changed his life; the place that stole not only his childhood, but his brother's also.

"C'mon," She said softly, seeing that this place clearly didn't carry any happy memories for him. "We have someone to see."

Dean was about to ask her who it was they had come to see. After all, he didn't know anyone in Lawrence. And then it hit him as he looked up and saw the familiar building. He did know someone in Lawrence, he knew Missouri Mosley.

**0000000000**

"Don't know anyone in Lawrence?" Missouri scoffed with a raised eyebrow as she looked Dean up and down.

"Missouri." Dean said as a way of greeting. He didn't bother to question it, he had learned better than that.

"I was going to come to you and Sam but..."

"Let me guess, by brother's dead girlfriend told you that we were coming for a visit?" Dean said slowly, becoming irritated with the fact that he was the only one who didn't know about this master plan of his father's.

"Dean Winchester. The poor girl knows that she's dead; there is no need for you to keep referring to her as dead. And if you'd be quiet for a moment we could get to explaining this to you." Missouri told him, taking it easy on him since he was still visibly shaken still by his brother's fragile condition.

Dean suddenly felt guilty. She was right, about Jess, he couldn't imagine what it felt like to die and come back like this. To see everyone living life when you couldn't...to see someone you love hovering between life and death...

"I'm sorry." He told Jessica, and it was certainly one of the most genuine apologies he'd ever made in his entire life. "Missouri's right...I..."

"It's fine." She told him. "But perhaps we can just stick to Sam."

"That's better." Missouri murmured, "Now, both of you, take a seat and we can get started."

**0000000000**

Sam couldn't help but to think of how bad the demon had ruined his family as he looked at, and talked to his mom. She was young, and beautiful, and she even seemed happy...but he didn't even know her. Aside from pictures, the woman in front of him was a stranger, and he couldn't help but to be reminded of the fact that he was the reason why she was dead.

"_You ruined my life. You killed everyone I loved. You destroyed my family."_

"_Your mom, she was in the wrong place at the wrong time." Yellow Eyes told him. "It was unfortunate; but I couldn't have anyone coming between us Sammy."_

_Then it hit him. His mother died because of him. Everything, all Dean had gone through--lost, everything his dad had gone through, it was all his fault. He had known that he had no one to blame for Jessica except for himself but...he'd never known, never realized..._

"I'm sorry." He told his mom as he felt his eyes well with tears. She deserved that much from him at least. She never got to see her sons grow up, or grow old with her husband...all because of him.

John looked confused by his son's words but Mary figured it out without missing a beat. "Don't you dare." She told her son, looking him square in the eye as she spoke, to be sure that he missed nothing; that he knew that she meant every word. "Don't you _dare_ blame yourself, Sam; none of this is your fault. Not what happened to me, not what happened to Jessica...you have to stop blaming yourself. Just because you can see the future doesn't mean that you can control it." Mary wrapped her arms around her son in a hug. "Do you understand me?"

"Your mother's right, Sam." John said clapping a hand to his son's shoulder as Mary released him. "I've always known it was the demon. You know, I never _once_ thought you had a thing to do with it; neither did Dean, you know..." John's voice cracked a bit and Sam swore he saw his dad's eyes start to tear up, a rare occurrence in his life. John had always tried to hide that kind of thing from his boys and he often succeeded in it. "I know I made a lot of mistakes in the way I raised you boys. I made Dean grow up too fast, and I pushed you...I made you into soldiers and...If you ever thought..."

"Dad. No." Sam tried to ignore the lump in his throat. "Dean and I, we were lucky—we were so lucky to have you. You taught us to be strong...to be fighters...if it wasn't for you, dad, I would have ended up like all of those other kids...I _never _would have had the strength to fight all of this evil—it felt like it was consuming me sometimes, like I'd never be able to get away from it...Dean and I never would have made it without you, dad."

Mary watched them silently, waiting, for her time. John and Sam, they needed this, but she needed to tell her son the truth; a truth that he should have known from the start.

**0000000000**

"No!" Dean vehemently objected to Missouri's...plan? Actually, Dean wasn'y even sure that it was a plan. It was ridiculous. It was crazy. It was stupid it was...

"Dean's right." Jessica said. "It's too dangerous...John—John thought about that, but we can't do it."

Missouri's grand plan was to put Sam into some cockamamie sleeping beauty coma until Dean's time came so that the demon couldn't take his soul; and Dean would be dammed if he was going to go along with that. Who knew what could happen? That plan had so many flaws... with the major one being that the crossroads demon could figure it out and with a snap of her fingers do Sam in. No, Dean wouldn't do it, if that had to be the plan screw them and screw his dad...it was his life and he had the right—no, the _responsibility_ to do this for Sam.

"We have to try John's plan." Jessica insisted. "It's the least intrusive and it leaves Sam and Dean in the least amount of danger."

"I don't like it." Missouri told her. "Sweetie, that plan has more wrong to it than I can begin to explain to you."

"But it could work." Jessica pressed.

Dean wanted to scream. It would have been nice if they could share and let him into their seemingly private conversation. All he'd heard about was this friggin' great plan of his dad's that no one would tell him about.

"That's some dark area that you're venturing into..."

"What the hell is the damn plan?" Dean bellowed finally exploding out of sheer irritation with the women he was sitting with.

"I know you didn't just yell at me." Missouri told him eyeing him up and down as he jumped up to look from her to Jess.

Dean bit his tongue before he shot back a reply that he might later regret.

"That's what I thought." She told him, "Now, if you'll sit down, and stay calm I think Jessica will be able to explain it to you."

About damn time, Dean thought, ignoring the scathing look that Missouri gave him.

"Don't you cuss at me boy." She warned him.

"It isn't going to be easy." Jess started.

"Of course not." Dean said, "Nothing in our line of work is."

"Can you keep your mouth shut for...just five minutes?" Jessica asked him, starting to become irritated.

Dean was shocked into silence and just looked at her expectantly.

"Thank you. Well...John has been working on this theory for a while and we think it could work."

"Theory." Missouri raised an eyebrow, "You mean crazy plan, right?"

Dean shushed her, and Jess continued.

"We can kill her. Literally. Not just send her to hell, but actually kill her."

"How?"

"By putting a truly good soul in there and if all goes to your dad's plan...they'll cancel each other out, completely cease to exist.

It took a moment for it to set in, for Dean to understand what she was saying. Jess wanted to sacrifice herself to this demon to save him and Sam.

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_o0o0o0o0o shocker huh? please review and tell me what you thought. i love to hear your opinions! but thats it i won't beg im above that (pretty please review)._

_chailyn_


	5. Chapter 5

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Broken Trust 

**-5-**

**Chailyn**

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_so this chapter has been quite the long time in coming but...hopefully it was worth it. I wasn't quite sure where i wanted to go with it but i'm gonna finally decided and will be wrapping this fic up in a couple more chapters. i hope you enjoy!_

_I own nothing. except the winchster brothers of course._

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"This is wrong." Dean said shaking his head in denial. "No, Jess. This isn't your sacrifice to make. I can't let you do this."

"It's not your choice." Jessica said, her voice was clear and strong with no sign of backing down. Her stubborn tone gave her an air of obstinacy that reminded Dean of Sam's tone when arguing about school with his dad, confident, no intentions of backing down whatsoever. He didn't quite expect such a kind of strength from her. "The same way that it wasn't your choice when your dad sold your soul for you, or Sam's choice when you sold your soul for him."

"It's hellfire, Jessica, eternal hellfire. Do you not get that? It's not some romantic, Romeo and Juliet story, its hell. It's not your destiny..." Dean turned to Missouri, as it looked as if he wasn't getting through to her. "Missouri, please, talk some sense into her. This isn't her world, she doesn't understand what it means." If not anything else, Dean knew that he could count on Missouri to tell her what a stupid idea that was, she was really good at _that._

"Stupid, huh?" Missouri repeated his thoughts.

Damn it! He swore, he couldn't stand it sometimes. He'd thought that being around Sam was bad but she really could read your thoughts. He wondered if she knew that he hated her sometimes

"Yeah, boy, I do. Now shut it, and for once in your life... listen to what I have to say?" Missouri paused, and Dean struggled to look apologetic enough to pacify her. Though he wasn't all too sure what was the point of it, if she could read his mind she'd know he wasn't really sorry anyways...psychics gave him headaches...it was way too much thinking, being around them.

Missouri seemed placated, and Dean swore she had to give him dirty look...he wondered if it was possible to stop thinking, it'd be really useful around her...

"I'm sure, for you it wouldn't be a problem." She said dryly, "Now, if you're done with all the big thoughts..."

"Sorry." Dean muttered, waiting for what she had to say so he could just get back to Sammy, and try and find out what was going on, what had to be done with him.

"It's no stupider than you and your father playing roulette with your souls...and a whole hell of a lot less selfish!"

Dean was thrown for a moment; he clearly had missed the checkered 'this is Dean's mistake' flag. Since when was this about his choices? He thought this was supposed to be about Jessica? He still hadn't gotten to the bit where she didn't outright tell Jessica that she was out of her mind for wanting to do this.

Missouri ignored his thoughts and continued.

"You Winchesters are such martyr's you just don't see how selfish you're being. If John was here, I'd just ring him by the neck...but Dean, your father did what he did because he couldn't live with the thought that he'd destroyed his son with all -consuming desire for revenge against that demon. You did it because you were scared of being alone, because you felt like you failed your brother by not protecting him...am I right?" Missouri didn't wait for a 'yes' or a 'no' or for him to start getting defensive. She wasn't trying to punish him, or make him feel guilty, just to see the truth. "Neither one of you considered what it was doing to the person that you made the trade for. It's not like Jessica is doing this for herself. It's a sacrifice _for _Sam; she gets nothing out of it."

Dean looked over to Jessica in confusion. He still didn't completely get this whole thing.

"Whether Sam dies or we save him...I'm never going to be able to be with him again...and at least this way something good can come of it. He won't be alone Dean, he won't have to face all that's coming alone. He can't handle losing you...it'll kill him, I know you think he's stronger but Sam has his limits too...he can only take so much. If its me, something good can come of it all, and you guys...you can save the world."

"Sam wouldn't want you to." Dean said, pulling on the last straw that he had left. He couldn't let her do this, no matter how much...he still had a duty, and he couldn't let her die for a choice he made, a choice he made again if he had to. It may have been low but, if she didn't care about his opinion, maybe she'd still care about Sam's.

"Sam's not as strong as you think he is." Jessica told him sadly. "He isn't. Your brother needs you."

Dean was silent, trying to ignore it. He didn't want to hear this right now, he couldn't hear this right now. He couldn't because he had himself convinced that Sam didn't need him, because if Sam still needed him...when he went it...it would be like he was abandoning him. Dean couldn't be abandoning his brother...it couldn't be like that.

After all, he was only doing what he thought was right.

* * *

"I think now would be a good time for us to talk." Mary told her son, before glancing over at her husband.

John nodded his head, smiled, and disappeared in a flurry of bright light.

Sam couldn't help but to feel as if he had missed a step when he found himself alone with his mother.

"Where did dad go?"

"Oh...to check on your brother I imagine." Mary smiled as she spoke. "You know your dad, if he's not doing it himself..."

"Right." Sam said trying to relax but feeling uncomfortable and horribly awkward in front of the mother he didn't really know. It was a terrible feeling; all these years, all of his childhood; always wondering what his mom was like, endless questions to Dean about her...but no memories. All he had was pictures and this mental image of this perfect, beautiful, angel that Dean had told him about. Nothing for himself though...it almost physically hurt to think about it.

"I'm sorry Sam." Mary said a sad smile gracing her perfect porcelain-like features.

"For what?" Sam asked, he couldn't possibly imagine what his mom had to apologize to him for.

"For not being there for you and your brother, for not being there for you boys when you needed me." Mary's eyes glassed over, but she refused to allow herself to cry; she had to get through this, to tell Sam all the things that he deserved to know. Things that he should have known long ago.

"Mom, its not your fault. You didn't know—

"I did. I saw it the same way you saw Jessica. I ignored it my whole life and you almost died because of it. I almost..." Mary's voice broke slightly as she was reminded of the past. "I was so worried of what your father would think. Of what anyone would think. It certainly sounded crazy but...Sam after you were born I was haunted with nightmares of something killing you. And then, that night...he was the man from my nightmares."

"Wait. Like visions?" Sam wasn't sure, but it almost sounded like she was telling him that she had the same thing that he did. But that wasn't possible right? He only had visions because of the demon... "Like my visions?"

"One and the same."

"Well, then how come Dean...?"

"Luck of the draw sweetie."

"And the demon?"

"Well that explains the telepathy but your visions aren't evil. They come from a place of good—look at all the people you saved with them." Mary said, then her voice turned sad. "I just wish..."

"What?"

"I just wished I hadn't ignored them. Things would have turned out a lot differently for all of us if I hadn't been so concerned with running away from who I was."

"Like I have."

"Oh Sam," Mary sighed and wrapped her arms around him. "This family's been running from the truth for a long time. You and Dean put an end to that though, you've used all the bad things that have happened and turned it into something positive. Just promise me something. I don't want you boys to get lost in it all. When you go back don't jump into the first hunt that comes along...get away, do whatever you have to do. You've been given a second chance...just be brothers again."

"Yeah." Sam nodded his head, she was right. If all of this worked out like it was supposed to...he was going to be given a second chance with family. He was going to get his brother back. "We will mom."

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End file.
